I worried that I was never ever going to be able to say anything Nurse Christmas Sweatshirt or amusing to her about anything at all. I was intimidated by the other men in her design course and became convinced that she was going to go off with one of them. She went off with one of them. I lost the plot for a while then. And I lost the subplot, the script, the soundtrack, the intermission, my popcorn, the credits, and the exit sign. I hung around Charlie’s hall of residence until some friends of hers caught me and threatened to give me a good kicking.
I decided to kill Marco, the guy she went off with, and spent a long Nurse Christmas Sweatshirt in the middle of the night working out how to do it, although whenever I bumped into him I just muttered a greeting and sloped off. I did a spot of shoplifting, the precise motivation for which escapes me now. I took an overdose of Valium and stuck a finger down my throat within a minute. I wrote endless letters to her, some of which I posted, and scripted endless conversations, none of which we had.
And when I came around, after a couple of months of darkness, I found to my Nurse Christmas Sweatshirt that I had flunked my course and was working in Record and Tape Exchange in Camden. Everything happened so fast. I had kind of hoped that my adulthood would be long and meaty and instructive, but it all took place in those two years; sometimes it seems as though everything and everyone that have happened to me since we’re just minor distractions.